Growing up I struggled to form deep connections, for much of my life I felt lost and out of place. Due to my parent's divorce when I was around 5 years old, we moved house and my brother and I changed schools several times. This instability had an impact on my self-confidence and self-esteem.

After my mother remarried amid custody battles, my brother and I lived with her and my stepfather. Visiting my father I felt like I was 'borrowing' his time. Each relocation intensified my difficulty in maintaining friendships, making me more introverted and isolated. Dyslexia made learning challenging, leading to bullying and low-self-esteem.

My mother's second marriage, strained from the start, played a role in my muted and voiceless feelings. The marriage faced challenges, with my stepfather's demons and frequent drinking leading to violent conflicts. Despite his support, the contrasting kindness and inner torment were confusing.

To cope, I emotionally shut down, wearing a mask to hide my true feelings. I turned to drugs and alcohol during my late teens, seeking numbness and connection with likeminded individuals. Meeting a few positive influences during this period offered glimpses of a better model for manhood.

People entered my life for reasons and seasons, teaching me valuable lessons about a different path.

In my late twenties, I lacked a clear sense of self and relied on my social circle and relationships for validation. Despite feeling lonely and depressed, I concealed my emotions behind a facade.

Discovering a passion for fitness offered a positive outlet, but I remained an addict, swopping recreational drugs for steroids to build a protective wall of physical strength. My life oscillated between feeling invincible and hopelessly depressed due to the drugs. Destructive relationships and a dysfunctional social circle mirrored my own masked struggles.

A chance encounter with an insightful man, embodying rare values, prompted self-reflection and a path to improvement. Now, with a loving family, I dedicate my life to helping others achieve physical, mental and emotional well-being.

I believe my experiences equipped me to assist men facing similar struggles, lost, disconnected, and purposeless. True healing goes beyond aesthetic goals, requiring a deeper understanding of our values and alignment with our actions.

Many men today seek connection through destructive means. Engaging in men's work and self-reflection allowed me to integrate lessons into my work, recognising a collective need for positive male role models to guide and inspire. While my journey is ongoing, I strive to be a healthy masculine role model, sharing my story to empower others who lack guidance.